Pyrex pot, gone forever... ... ...

Yesterday night, I accidentally broke my mum's favorite Pyrex pot cover...
Actually this is how it happened, my mum was standing near the sink, then i was walking behind her, then when she turn around holding that pot cover, I stopped because I want to U-turn back to take my stuff... PIANG!!! Crashing into pieces... My mum shouted and I said, "die la die la"...

The moment the cover break, I see my mum's face is so sad. I felt so guilty. I dare not say sorry at first... Then after sweeping and cleaning up the mess, I called my mum, "Ma, sorry... ... " My mum said, "sorry will never bring back the cover"

The cover is for 3 other pots because it come with a set. My mum bought that Pyrex pots 30 years ago. Even though I have money, I can't find it. It's antique. Amazon.com and e-Bay can't even help me... *sigh...

So sorry mummy,
-Son;KhaihenG-

Scaling Gunung Datuk

This is my first time hiking a mountain, and I'm proud to say that I make it to the peak for only 1hour20minutes!!! That is too fast for a beginner! My friend's father; a frequent hiker said for a rookie it usually takes about 2hours to reach. (*giggle)

This mountain I'm hiking is called as Gunung Batuk(Coughing Mountain). Don't ask me why the name is so weird.

At first, I was very excited and full of energy and run all the way up for about 20 minutes. But guess what? I pancit after that.. Panting and taking baby steps... The pace is getting narrow... Every time when come to carry up my leg to cross over the big roots, I felt like giving up.



Every steps are different. Some easy, some is hard. But then, it is really worth it and testing my limit. I nearly up half way because my right last toe and my weak knee is killing my. But then when my friend told me that we are 15 minutes away to the peak, I push myself hard to go for it!

... ... ...

*At the peak;
Before reaching the peak, you have to climb man-made ladder to reach the peak because the peak is full of big rocks!





Fuh, the peak was like a paradise. We we first reach the peak, the area was cover with mild mist, but the after awhile when the sun comes, the whole place was so clear and it was so beautiful.








Cheeky thought that he was the king! But I did something more special. Scroll down...


I did pumping!!! 1time only... Lolx!!! Then I even do more macho thing... Scroll down...


Sit up!!! Not even half up... Lol


I gave up at last. I enjoy and upside down view... You all should try it whenever have any chance...Kinda scary when I tried... Ask cheeky and EuLee how they felt...

After spending about 1 hour on the peak, we heading down... Hmmm... The way down is much tougher... Damage my toes and my knee... I have no choice but take my pain killer half way... You have to jump and land hard on the ground... Take about 40 minutes to go down...

This is what happen after the expedition... ...


My last toe shift inside and swollen... OUCH!!! Help me mummy...

More pictures at my FRIENDSTER. Feel free to check it out. This are my link to my profile.
Friendster: http://profiles.friendster.com/user.php

Thanks for reading...

Have a nice day,
-KhaihenG-


Copyright © 2009 KhaiHengTan. Inc All Rights Reserve Patent Pending

WORTH-LESS

JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE NECESSARY DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE IMPORTANT




JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE UNIQUE DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE USEFUL


Credit to Stephanie for this meaningful and provoking blog.

All those pictures are certainly thought provoking aren't they. If it doesn't get you thinking I would like to congratulate you on having a strong firm in your principles and whatever you believe in. However, to those having their brain gears running after looking at this. I'm curious to what is your reaction the first moment looking at it. Happy? Angry? Sad? Thoughtful?


The world seems mean now doesn't it. To some who may try their best to justify this, I'm sure you may have some hard time evading this very simple truth.That we are all NECESSARY, BUT NOT ALL IMPORTANT. Some of you may feel insulted. There is no denial because we are all homo sapiens with some hint of emotions. Even for those who are allergic to a whole spectrum of human emotions, they do admit the existence of human emotions. Anyway, that is a bit side tracked.


Sure we are all important, just that some of us are not that important, yet we are all necessary to cause an imbalance to create a balance. It's quite straight forward. However, this doesn't mean that we should stop trying to do our best. It's just a reminder that we are all human and we have our imperfections. Every little gesture causes an effect. A little something called a chain reaction. Everything in life has it's reason and purpose, it's all necessary yet not always important. So don't ever feel like you don't belong, because God has a purpose for each and everyone of you. It may feel like a small and unimportant task to you, but it is necessary and crucial that we follow obediently so that God's divine plan can be unfold.

Feel free to leave any comment after reading.

Have a nice day,
-KhaihenG-


Copyright © 2009 KhaiHengTan. Inc All Rights Reserve Patent Pending

Some words are best to keep silent...

Dear friends,

Don't be surprise when I said, Today in class actually I heard what you said about me and her... But then I pretend not to know because of certain reasons. It's good to be happy better than sad and tense all the time right? But then do you ever think of how I would feel when you said that? I hope that next time you would find a handsome boyfriend and maybe your husband would look like a superstar then I have no words to say. If not, you would know the consequences...

Why don't you ask her yourself? Ask her why would she be with me even when she know I'm not good looking. I would like to know the answer too someday because I don't know and never think about it... When you love someone or looking for a soul-mate, is it physical appearance is your first priority ? Or internal personal be the first priority? I would like to hear this from you too...

You said I'm not good looking I can accept it. I would say that it actually hurt a lot to me. Do you think I want it? DO you think I deserve it? *sigh... When you read this, don't have to feel guilty... I'm not angry of you...

When you love someone, you want to be perfect to her... I'm not perfect, but of course I do think of doing something to my face after the exams... Which girl don't want their partner to be look nice. When I'm with her at that period, my physical appearance actually give me pressure.

Have a Nice Day,
-KhaihenG-

Rain Wash Away My Pain

Beautiful Saturday... My definition of beautiful day is cloudy morning when it look like going to rain... More better if it rain...

This morning it rain, and my mood change according to the weather. I would be silent through the day and I would think of all the past. I was sitting in my room doing my own stuff but of course not study, I was doing birthday card because someone's birthday is coming soon. Then the rain is getting heavier. I get up from my chair and change my cloth and grab my key.

I played with the rain. I went to St John hill near my house.

I lie on the grass and close my eyes. All I cold feel is peaceful and serenity. I could hear every drop of the rain hitting the leafs and reach the soil. I could even heard the sound of insects crawling on the fertile soil. I felt the I'm part of the nature. My pain and sadness had been wash away with the rain. Taken away, deep into the ground. Feel so good and enlighten.

There's an uncle sat in the hut and read a book. He was looking at me. Must be puzzle why this young chap playing with the rain. I felt like telling him, "I feel good when I play with the rain."

Actually, I shed tears when I lying down on the grass because I was thinking of her. Like a love story you read from a book right? But it's true. I feel better, but at the same time, I feel sad.

I love her~

Thanks to nature, I feel better now

-KhaihenG-


Copyright © 2009 KhaiHengTan. Inc All Rights Reserve Patent Pending

Farewell - I was worry that night.

My Rover is having a farewell party that night at Harbor Club and they plan to "swim" after dinner. But i wasn't happy with that idea because that night, 4 assholes throw her into the pool without knowing that she can't swim actually. Inside of me, I was so angry and jealous. But then all I could do is to see her from a distance away. When they throw her into the pool, I was already standing at there to help her because I know she can't swim. I was right, the moment she falls into the pool, I saw her struggling and while I was standing at the BBQ pit, I ran toward her and stop half way because there are other guys at there to pull her up already. Seems that she already had other 'heroes' that reach there before me. So I stop right there and watch her hoping that she is alright. That night, I totally wasn't happy at all and I don't enjoy it through out the party. I tried to make myself happy; mingle with other girls over there and have fun with them. But it doesn't help at all. I hope that she is jealous, but her face expression show nothing. Kind of sad actually but the truth is, damn bloody sad. My heart like carrying a tonne of stone! But what can I do? What else can I do? I do care bout her, but her expression and act make me sad every time.

The memory is still fresh in my mind. I still remember the time when we went to our friend's apartment and had a great time swimming together where I get to hold her hand and carry her around in the swimming pool. So sweet... (*sigh) But all is already a past and no longer together. I love her, very much to this very day.

Heart broken,
-KhaihenG-

" What's The Point ? "

Ask yourself, "what's the point;"
Of hating someone that you love
Hating someone that you care
Those who you really worry off everyday.

Lover to unknown,
Fire to dust,
Friends to stranger,
Love to hatred,
...
Couple to single.

Ask yourself, what's the point
to do all this to the one you love
Do you feel good?
Do you feel satisfy?
Will they come back to you after this?

Ask yourself, what's the point
of waiting for a love that doesn't exist?
Will she come back to you?

What's the point of waiting?
What's the point of hating?
What's the point of loving?
What's the point of caring?
Does it worth it?

Ask yourself... ...
Do you deserve a second chance?
Do both of you deserve a second chance?
Appreciate before it's too late,
Treasure before it gone,
Think before you decide.
Love him/her right, before it turn out like me...
For I love her... ...

-Khaiheng-


Copyright © 2009 KhaiHengTan. Inc All Rights Reserve Patent Pending

When It Was You and Me

The power lines went out
And I am all alone
But I don’t really care at all
Not answering my phone
All the games you played
The promises you made
Couldn’t finish what you started
Only darkness still remains

Lost sight
Couldn’t see
When it was you and me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I’m beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I’ll be alright

Been black and blue before
There’s no need to explain
I am not the jaded kind
Playback’s such a waste
You’re invisible
Invisible to me
My wish is coming true
Erase the memory of your face

One day
You will wake up
With nothing but “you’re sorry”
And someday
You will get back
Everything you gave me


Not as what you'll think of me,
-KhaihenG-


Copyright © 2009 KhaiHengTan. Inc All Rights Reserve Patent Pending

200km/h???

My Y125ZR --->

I love adrenaline rush in me when I hold back my breath and my heart stop beating until I reach the finish line. That was when I'm racing, and illegal racing with other racers that called themselves as rider or 'mat rempit'. I'm one of the rider and I'm still a fresh rider and my ride will be my Yamaha 125ZR.

I speed at 180km/h but then I still can feel that the speed is still increasing and the torque is still coming. I know I'm risking my life and is a foolish act but then I love it very much. When you are at this speed, all your surrounding become unclear and all you see is the finish line and the only sound you could hear is your engine roaring like the lion. Situation become more intense when you are being chase by a police that ride either Y125Z or RXZ. They are the rider hunter, that's what I called them.

I had the experience where I see my friend being chase by 2 police and I follow behind to make sure my friend is doing alright. Every Saturday, this will be my activity and I'm like addicted to it.

This is what I do and this is what I live... ... as a Rider...

RIDER,
-KhaihenG-


Copyright © 2009 KhaiHengTan. Inc All Rights Reserve Patent Pending

A Person Who Choose To Be Love

First and foremost, happy holidays and Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslim.
How are you going to spend your holiday before school reopen? Study? Hang out? Or thinking of someone you miss so dearly?

Today is the 144th days we are apart from each other. Not a word, not a single hi and not even a smile since then. Kinda miserable and pathetic right? A person that choose to be love like me live in my own world where people think of me differently. People judge wrongly about me and never take a second glance at me to really know who am I. Of course I wish that we will be together for a long time without thinking when are we going to be apart from each other. The path and the wish I choose doesn't mean I'm going to have it. It lies in the hand of God. This is destiny and fate I called.

I wish to say that "I Love You" and "I miss you", but whenever I want to said that sentence, I hold back for a while and feel my heart is so heavy; I keep myself silence and never say that sentence again. The feeling is like carry a tonnes of undying love. Nobody will know how I feel unless they gone through the "path" I've taken before. I pretend I'm alright, pretend to hate you, stare at you and show you sulky face whenever you pass by me, but all that is fake. I don't know what else expressions shall I show whenever you walk pass me. Don't you understand? I feel that you and I are make a pair. But I'm wrong. Very wrong...

Whenever I heard rumors or gossips that you are with someone else, I can't help myself but sad all day. I wish I never knew all this, I wish all that is not true because I believe you will never do that. But somehow, my instinct tells me it is true. I have this song and I love it very much. The lyric is meaningful and I wish to dedicate to Ann. I love you.

P/S: It has 2 versions, one is sung by Jackson 5 and another one is Westlife;
I'll Be There.

Jackson 5 - I'll Be There



Westlife - I'll Be There




Seeking for Love,
-Khaiheng-


Copyright © 2009 KhaiHengTan. Inc All Rights Reserve Patent Pending

"The power lines went out and I am all alone but I don’t really care at all not answering my phone all the games you played the promises you made couldn’t finish what you started. Only darkness still remain, lost sight, couldn’t see... ... ..."

When it was you and me... ... ...

Girl, I miss you very much...


Seeking for Love,
-KhaihenG-


Copyright © 2009 KhaiHengTan. Inc All Rights Reserve Patent Pending

Voice of The Unheard

Hi everyone, I'm back today to voice out my thoughts...

I'm very proud of my school and I do love it very much since the day I entered St. Francis primary. But then, as I grew older and more mature, my thinking, my attitude and point of view change. People, in fact a lot of people would like to judge a person by their physical appearance. For my case, it's a sad case because everyone thought that I'm a bad manner, rebellious, attitude problem, problematic child and the lists goes on and on.

You know what, my principal used to said, " if you want others to treat you right, you must first treat them right." I love his speech especially every Monday when he had new topic to share with us. But then, as day goes, I start to find that he doesn't practice what he said. It was this Friday, when everyone was suppose to wear Full-U and that day, I wear half-U because my commander told us to borrow my shirt to the lower form student to wear it for out school Merdeka celebration. After I parked my bike, he called me and this is our conversation -
Principal:Khai Heng, come here, why are you wearing your PJ shirt and not your
Full U?
Me :Because I had to borrow my shirt to the lower 6 student because they
are going to participate for the celebration.
Principal:Who give you the permission to wear half U?
Me :(thinking) Those that borrow their shirt is wearing half U.
Principal:Are you sure?
Me :(thinking again what reason to give)

Then when I walked up to give my explanation, he asked me to go down.
(*ok, I know this part some of you may not understand what I'm trying to say. Do you know the motorcycle park? When we want to go to the quadrangle, isn't the semen floor is higher than the road?)
What I'm trying to say is my principal is asking me to stand on the road and he stand on the semen floor. That's mean he has to be taller ahead of me when he talked. Doesn't make sense right. When I walked up to the semen floor, he shouted me asking me to go down, not once but few time. I was wondering why is he doing that and what he gets by asking me to go down? Doesn't that sound discriminating and difference by the post or rank we have in school?

I thought in La Salle school, everyone is treated the same without the regard of race, gender and social rank or between teacher and student? Then I tried to tell my principal that I don't quite agree and like the way he treated me. Instead of listening to me, he asking me, do you want me to give you personal attention? What does he mean by personal attention? Why do everyone in school has to think that I'm rebelling. I respect all teachers.

Today was my worst day ever. I totally had a bad impression about SFI and I don't enjoy my schooling life anymore. I just hope that the remaining few months would pass faster and get out from SFI. This morning I was late to school. I reach school at 7.45a.m because I had to go for my routine check-up at a nearby clinic. I went to the clinic about 6.50a.m hoping that I will not be late because I don't use to be late comer. I never had A SINGLE RECORD for late attending school. Once I reach the school gate, the guard tells me to park my bike beside and bring me to our senior assistant of student affair. I was wearing my jacket and carry my beg with me when I walked toward him. Then he asked me to put my beg aside and take off my jacket. I did what he told me. Before he asked me why I'm late, he point his cane toward the wall so I thought I must be getting my punishment. Then i leaned against the wall ready to be cane. Then he asked me, "why you are late?" So I replied and said "I went to clinic for check up" and the second question he asked was, "is there any letter to prove it?" I said no, because I'm coming to school. The actual reason was I was in the rush and I never ask the doctor for any letter. But who is going to believe what I said?

Then come the senior assistant 1, "you are not suppose to wear the jacket in school and who give you the permission to come late?" Everything is getting heated up when I told Mr J that I don't like the way he ask me why I'm late. To me, I feel like he was asking for a fight like that. The moment I said I don't like the way Mr J talk to me, he got so furious he shouted at me "WHY CAN'T I TALK TO YOU THIS WAY? TELL ME!" Then Mrs CCY said, you think you fierce everyone will be afraid of you. OMG. I wasn't rebelling. I was trying to said that I don't like to be treated that way and out of the blue, they said about my attitude problem. Back to what I said earlier, Mrs CCY asked me, who give you the permission to come late? I was blank and don't know how to answer. In my mind I said, what the... I went to clinic check up and why must I tell you? Just that I don't have any letter to prove it. I suggest them to call my mother but Mrs CCY said don't need! I said that suggest to call my parent and you don't let, what else you want me to do? Mr J answer me, I didn't said that. Thing really heated up this morning and 2 teachers "verbally attack" a student.

I never had any grudge on any teachers that scolded me before, but recently, I do and... ... I want to shout my lung out!!!!

I have another incident happened 3 years ago when I was in Form4. I was weak in account and the teacher that teach me account is Mrs CCY but I can't cope it in class, so I had another teacher Ms TAK that willing to teach, coach and guide me AFTER SCHOOL. But then, at that time, there is a student's parent from my class made a complain that Mrs CCY doesn't know how to teach. In my opinion, she suspect I'm the one that complain and she found out that I had another teacher teaching me account. So one day she entered class and got so furious and chase me out of the class and ask me to find her as I don't need her anymore. Get what I mean? Is that jealousy. I got chase out from the class every period that she came in for like about a month until I tell my parents about this and they went to school to find out. Then Mr Lee(senior assistant 1 back then) call me up to find out the truth. I told him everything and after that, he asked me to apologize to Mrs CCY and won't repeat my mistake again. I beg your pardon, why am I suppose to apologize to her? Is there anything wrong if I had another teacher willing to teach me after school and not during her period. Isn't it that Mrs CCY should apologize to me instead? It's clearly that she is discriminated me. In that heated period, Ms TAK stop giving me extra class because of... ...

So, this is voice of the unheard and I'm the boy. Can anybody tell whether what is my problem and how am I going to solve it. I do love SFI very much. This has been my 13 years and I want to have a good memory before leaving this school, but it seems that my memories for this school has been slowly erasing off my mind... Please don't judge me by my physical appearance. I'm not a rebellion child, not an trouble maker, NOT EVEN A PROBLEMATIC CHILD? I'm a normal teen with teenage problem. I respect elderly people, I respect my teachers, I respect my parents and all the society, but I hate to be treated differently form everyone. How others treated me is how I treated then back.

A piece of broken fragile heart~
-HARDCORE-
Age Quad Agis


Copyright © 2009 KhaiHengTan. Inc All Rights Reserve Patent Pending

Holidays

It's holiday-ing right now for one week and after these holidays, it's exam fever. Damn! This will be the last semester holiday for me and you know what do I mean? It's mean that 'we' only left few months roughly about less than 3 months for us to start a conversation. But situation doesn't get better either. I choose not to think about it but as I said before, someone sure will keep me 'update' about her although I never ask them to do so. The latest rumors that my friend told me was he saw a guy fetch her in a kelisa. I thought that her parents wouldn't allowed her to sit friend's car. I broke down the moment I heard this. I just don't get it why I'll be like this. I can't seems to get over it. It has been months since we break up.

I speak to one of my girl friend how I feel that night. Her advice seems to work. I feel better after that. She's my ex after all. The sadness is normal and I should bless her and let her go and also learn to let go the past. Thanks YL, love you as my friend!!!

I promise to be a cheerful person from today onward... ^^

Specially dedicated to YL.
-thanks for taking care of me that night when I over drink. That picture you snap very 'malu' le but very nice because got a pretty girl posing in the picture... lolx!

R.A.G.E! Someone please help me

Today, for no reason, or maybe there is reason I started the argument with my parents of they start it. All I know is I don't feel good. Feel like banging my head against the wall... Feel like dying... I don't feel comfortable and unpeaceful and restless kinda feeling... More like dying and cutting myself to feel every single heartbeat and the blood rushing in my veins. Sound crazy but I did that before.

Someone please help me. I really feel that one day I would break down and commit suicide. I really don't understand why my parents and I so frequently argue because of all the small things. A little bit of small thing and they start to fire me loads of hurtful words. Tonight, my parents again provoke the accident that happened to me and ask me to pay them back when I earn a living. How I wish that the accident did not happened. Now I lose "her" and now my parents condemn on me everyday.

Last week, the day my school having cross country, I was absent because I have to go to the lawyer firm with my dad to settle the accident case. But something gone wrong and now they(my parents) keep using this to torture my mind.

--> My accident was so serious until it become a court case. The hearing will be on December or January next year and what my lawyer said that Saturday shock me.

"We can't claim anything and don't claim a single cents from another party because I'm just a student and I don't earn a living yet. Moreover, it's my fault that I overtake the car on the left and was speeding at that time. What we can do now is claim for the medical fees. But the chances of claiming 100% is IMPOSSIBLE and we only can claim one third of the total bill."

I have to go for another check up at Putra Hospital to testify by a specialist on my injury because my last toes can't move most probably due to unattached bone muscle or ligament or something else and I have a limitation in playing sport. Whenever I want to play sport, I have to take pain killer and that is bad for me. There are still a lot of procedure going on and really complicated. I never thought that an accident will cause so much problem and a girl leave me after that for what I've sacrifice for her.

*Sigh*. I feel like I lost everything...Whenever I feel sad, I wish that I could tell her about how I feel right now because I really need her right now.

Love and Hatred
-KhaihenG-


Copyright © 2009 KhaiHengTan. Inc All Rights Reserve Patent Pending

What IS Love? 1311~

WHAT IS LOVE?

It's only the best four-word in the English language! Whether you've found it or you aren't sure if you are feelings are the real deal.

There's a reason why people describe love as being "head over heels": You are feeling like you're completely turned upside down. There's the physical stuff-your cheeks getting hot, the flutters in your stomach. And then there's the mental madness-you feel like you're losing your mind because all you can think about is the way he/she smells, how good it feels when he/she puts his arm around you, or the cute little dimple he/she gets when he/she smile. When you are with him/her, there's no other place you'd rather be; when you're not, you can barely wait until you see him again. Love is total high-better than eating chocolate, acing a test or scoring the winning goal!

As amazing as the feeling is, it can also be seriously confusing. Sure, you know if a guy/girl gives you a major butterflies. But how do you know if you're truly, madly and deeply in love?

Love and Hatred,
-KhaihenG-


Copyright © 2009 KhaiHengTan. Inc All Rights Reserve Patent Pending

From today onward, I swear upon Goddess of Mercy that I will never wait for her and beg for her to return to me anymore or give me anymore chances. It's because this morning I tried to talk to her and I asked her whether can she borrow her ears to me for just 30 minutes. But all she said is, " NO! I already meeting someone else after school."

That's it. The foolish person is me. What's the point I wait for her and loyal to only one girl. I can't continue to be like this anymore. I really felt so foolish. But I have no regret for all the things that I've done. I've done my part to start up a conversation, but since she refuse, then just let it be and forget it. Maybe it's true that friend will never be for both of us. Maybe leaving her will make my life better.

I was really disappointed that until now, whenever I talk to her, she give me the kind of face expression that I dislike. Can you imagine when you talk to someone and they show no interest and afraid to talk to you? That kind of feeling is really hurt. But she only will deny it.

So, from today onward, I learn a lesson, guy is not always the bad one. I can be loyal and dying to be with someone, but the person will never appreciate you no matter what I do and what I say.

Want to start a new life and after STPM, I want to go traveling to Cameron Highland, National Park, and Sabah. Want to free myself from everything. If you can't forgive the one that use to love you before, then you are not ready to be in love.

When I'm being with her, I really love her and treasure her with all my heart. I really thought what we are going to have a long time relationship, but then it's wrong. In a split second, I lost everything. When I love her, I never do rank her in my heart, she will always be my love one and I love her with all my heart. She left a scar on me to remember that how far I would go for the love.

Goodbye Little Ann

Love and Hatred,
-KhaihenG-



Copyright © 2009 KhaiHengTan. Inc All Rights Reserve Patent Pending

Fake? Pretending? Voltaren SR

I was really upset when someone said that I was faking it when I wear the ankle support and flip-flop to school. They thought that I fake the pain to get the sympathy of my ex.

But hey, I'm the one that know what I'm doing and what is the real pain! After the accident, I can't do heavy exercises anymore. I can't jog for long distance, I can't play badminton, I can't play fencing and everything that I love like what I used to be last time. I felt so useless. I'm naturally an active person and I love to do hardcore thing and hardcore sport. I love to sweat it out. But now, I was bound to a boundaries and I can't do it anymore.

I can, but then after that, the pain would be very sore and I just can't take it. Since then, whenever I want to play sport or exercise, I would take this medicine to press against my pain and now, just to satisfy those who say I faking it, I'm not wearing the ankle support anymore and I consumed VOLTAREN SR to stop the pain. I know the side effect, but I still taking it and prescribe for my doctor.

What is VOLTAREN SR?
Description:
Chemical Name: DICLOFENAC (dye-KLOE-fen-ak)a.k.a Strong Pain Killer

Voltaren SR is used to relieve the pain, tenderness, inflammation, and stiffness caused by osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis and ankylosing spondylitis.

Voltaren SR (Diclofenac SR) Cautions:
SIDE EFFECTS that may occur while taking this medication includes stomach pain, diarrhea, heartburn, upset stomach, constipation, gas or bloating, headache and dizziness.

Voltaren SR (Diclofenac SR) Side Effects:
SIDE EFFECTS that may occur while taking this medication includes stomach pain, diarrhea, heartburn, upset stomach, constipation, gas or bloating, headache and dizziness and failure of kidney's function in the long term medication.

I'm still working now and I worked is not for the money, but to kill my time and not to think about her. My work require me to stop all the time and I can't stand for a long period because my last toes will be swollen after that. Especially Saturday and Sunday when I have to work for FULL DAY SHIFT!

Nobody seems to understand what I have to gone through. I know that although the accident has happened for so long, but every accident left a side effect for the victim. I never wish for that accident, but I was too worried about her at that time that I neglected my safety just to get to her at that time.

Hope that one day I will still get to be with her and people, please stop accuse me for something I'm not. My pain is real!


Love and Hatred,
-KhaihenG-




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I just can't take it.... Too hurtful to know...

After the incident happened between to both of us, I thought that her parents would watch her more tightly and never let her out anymore, but all I think was wrong. I just hate it and hate it very much! What I said it's true, I'll never have a single day of rest and stay away from all this.

While I was working, I met a friend of mine, then we had a chat. Sudden;y we talk about my ex. Then he told me that Sunday he saw she and her friend together with 2 guys went for outing. One of them is her friend's boyfriend and another one is I don't know who is it. After hearing this, I was totally break down. I got so sad and I was blank, speechless, and don't know what else to think anymore. I just like lose the sense of living anymore. I don't felt like going to school anymore and not to see her anymore.

Before this, I've already made my decision to stop schooling but then because of my mum's sake, I continue to go to school. It's so suffering and I don't enjoy my schooling life anymore like last time I used to be. I just felt no sense of going to that place anymore and totally lost the concentration. Because I can't stop thinking of her and stop caring about her. I just can't do it. I don't understand what is it so hard for me just to forget about her. Since she can do it, why not me? I just don't get it.

WHAT IS IT THAT SO HARD FOR ME TO DO IT!!! I DON"T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS ANYMORE! IT REALLY HURT ME! EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT, I FELT THAT M,Y HEART WAS SO HEAVY AND IT'S GOING TO BURST OUT THAT KIND OF FEELING! I FELT THAT MY BURDEN IS GETTING HEAVIER EACH TIME BECAUSE I WAS UNWILLING TO SHARE MY PROBLEMS WITH EVERYONE. I DON'T TRUST ANYONE EASILY.

I was sleepless for the whole night. I want to confront her and tell her my feeling. But do you think is it possible and will she gave me some times to listen to me? Am I doing something foolish? I don's know. I just don't know. What I know is I can't hold anymore longer and feel like going to be insane sooner.

Someone or anybody please take me away from this misery. I love her. I do love her! I just can't stop thinking of her for a split second.

P/S: Ann, please stop hurting me. You already cut my fragile heart too deep. I really can't take it further.

Love and Hatred,
-KhaihenG-




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Well, the more I see both of them together, the more I feel disappointed. Do you know why? Because last time, the one that so-called her best friend said she is not my friend and now, she stay with her like nothing has happened. I guess she never know that she said this before. Somehow, I feel like telling her, but do you think she will believe me? In return she might think that I want to spoiled both their friendship.

Hmmm, how and why she will find ways to get back the friendship with her but not me? I really don’t understand till now. I just feel blank and lost without an answer. I just think that she is to faked from the beginning. Just that I pretend to tolerate her attitude and behavior. Who knows but she the one that know who is she.

Don’t understand why you all like to think I’m a bad person and guy is always the bad one. We as a guy and as your boyfriend, we tried to protect you. I know because I had a girlfriend before that I really worried bout her because she is too naive and can’t differentiate which is good and which is bad and who is the bad and good person. When we told you cannot do this and that, you think we didn’t give you all freedom. Why don’t we switch sex for a day and let you experience what does it take to be a guy.

Everything happened for a reason and I’m not afraid to say it out if I feel something is not right. I just hope that she will take care of herself and know how to judge which is good and which is bad. How I wish that I could always and standby her forever just to watch her and to protect her. I feel that if one day anything happen to her, I’ll blame myself for not being there for her. It’s because I love her and at the same time, I hated her. I know that this situation may not happen, but somehow, I still pray that she will get back to me. Because be with her is all I want her she will be my love that I want and nothing else matter.

IF only she knows... that I write all this blog is for her to know how I feel...
Someone please let her know...

I love you, because 1311~

P/S: I want to protect you and give you the happiness.

Love and hatred,
-Khaiheng-


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Apart from You~

How time flies... So fast and now is the month of July. We have been apart for roughly 3 months now. The time past really fast when we are not together and when we are together, time fly like the jet especially when we are dating. How I wish at that time, the clock would stop ticking. Miss those days when we are together.

Everyday life as usual. Go to school, study, homework, activities, tuition and tuition and tuition. Same routine everyday. Get bored of it. Moreover I lose a love one to cheer me up. All my days was me, myself. Kinda sad actually. But what else can I do? I’m not God, but I do pray that someday I’ll get what I want. I love her, for that is true. I was waiting for the day she start a conversation with me. I’ll wait until the last day of our exam, if she still don’t want to start a conversation, I guess I already know her answer and for that, I shall disregard her as my friend and maybe it’s true that we aren’t right for each other.

Right now, I just hope that I could get what I want and at least enter a well establish local university and I can find a new soul mate. Hmmm...

Since the day she left me, I lose all the creativity and idea to make beautiful cards and letters. I just don’t understand why is this happening to me. Is it true that I should stop asking why and just face the fact that this is already happened and no way I can get it back? Someone told me, “ You are killing yourself. You already know the answer and you are still waiting. Don’t you think is a waste of time? ” For me, I really don’t know how to answer this question. Some people just don’t understand how I feel. Do you fall in love before? So deep and passionate that you only think that she is the one that you want to be with for your whole life although you are just 19? Immature? I don’t think so. I’m mature enough to think what is good and what is bad. So don’t teach me what to do. I accept comment and opinion, but it’s up to me if I want to heed for the advise or not right?

Life’s really sucks without her. Hope one day she would read this blog.

I Love You~ 1311

Love and Hatred
-KhaihenG-


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